The new season is nigh!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 7, 2008 by Chris Grillo

Well what do you know? Another season is upon us, and it all seems to get more exciting, as more new teams join in the fray, willing to get blasted away by the old-timers (the rest of us!)

SO! A BIG welcome to 3 new squads…

Dream Team… Darren Abela’s team. Obviously in much hated Black and Blue colours, Darren will be black and blue if he doesn’t invest in the transfer market. Look at the other teams and learn my friend. Unfortunately, we might have to change this team’s name to Nightmare Team next season. Darren may be a forward looking guy, but this squad is all REVERSE! Prediction: Last with bells and whistles.

Duttrina FC… Why does religion always have to butt in? This is Luke’s squad. Luke Luke…Who the fuck is Luke? Oh, right! Il-Pinzell!!! Obviously a light blue in colour, Luke’s team of no-brainers is set to struggle mightily in his first season, but he is an experienced X11’er…Relegation looms large in this team’s eyes. Next to last, although he might surprise some.

Lion Hearts… While Nicholas is a feisty little guy, all heart, one might say, his squad is just a bunch of pussies, waiting to grow up into Lions. Take heart Nicholas, but be extremely careful. Everyone is out to haul over your ass. Again, Last or next to last place. Where’s the Vaseline tub? Meeeow!

On to the big guns now.

Paola Wolves. The Diamonds are dead…long live the Diamonds! Well the Reds may be dead, but I hope they managed to kill their manager before changing their name. Without any shadow of a doubt the best squad overall. Jojo managed to bungle practically every match this year. Like Metalheads’ first years he never got a rhythm going, and deservedly got relegated. I fully expect him to win the Second Division next year. If there is a second division. Actually I would also expect Wolves to win the first division…but just as long as Jojo is sacked. Down you go mate!!!

Real Wonka. The team we all love to hate. Winners or Runners-up. ‘Nuff said!

BSM. Another great team with a piss-poor manager. BSM only held on to the first division because of  a rigged match. Down to hell, boy! Third or fourth place. Pity the manager is so poor. He would have given us more entertainment in the league.

Metalheads Unite. AAAAH! Now here’s a team close to my heart. The Rockers have improved mightily after their manager found the best formation for the guys in Black. Still to lose a match in two seasons of cup-ties, Metalheads were only pipped to the post in the league by Reloaded on the last day after 11 consecutive wins, as well as losing out in the Cup Final on away goals.Predict a final position a very creditable 4th or 5th but only if the rhythm is regained.. Massive underachievers! The boys are back in town! Let’s ROCK this joint!

Your Pants On Fire… Without a shadow of a doubt the most improved club in the league, and runners-up last season. Alexander began timidly in his first season, but has managed to build a team of class players from the keeper straight up to the forwards. A steady balanced team ALL round…WOW! A top three finish is guaranteed for the Pants. Stupid name for a squad though!

Babers Bombers. The team that started us all on the road to glory…or perdition. This guy had things going forward in his first two seasons, but culminating in the ignomy of last place & relegation from the first division this year. Ewee however came up stating his commitment to the cup, which he admittedly won twice, without managing to win against the Rockers in the final. Fine game though. Pity about the league. The Bombers seem to have lost much of their fire-power though. Final positions? Winners or runners-up..OF THE SECOND DIVISION! Down the chute you go matey.

United Reloaded. What a strange kettle of fish this team turned out to be! A new squad winning the second division title against all odds! Their first match ended in a 4-0 defeat, but things improved rapidly, both with the quality of his squad, as well as shrewd signings. The crux of the matches for UR was the very first match against Metalheads, a lucky 1-0 win which saw them keep their lead at the top of the table right to the very last day, and worthy winners. Now an established squad and full of potential.

Young Dreamers. Old-age pensioners more like it. Zahra’s dream is nearly over. His decision to buy tried and tested players is finally about to kick him in the teeth. As the players get older, their speed slows down, and some of their skill is lost on the field of battle. An ingenious tactician, Mario’s good results belie his squad’s real (poor) potential. Give this guy a proper squad, and he’ll kick us in the balls. As it is, he needs to change quite a bit. Won’t be that difficult to beat this year. Hard times are a-coming for the Dreamers. Will be struggling to avoid the drop! Still, not so easy to beat.

Matercazzi. Hmm…how do you classify this team? Strong ambitions, good all-round squad, but just like the real pathetic Black and Blues..there is no real spirit in the squad. Everyone thought that he would put up a bit of a fight in the league, but he went meekly, head held up high as he was sacrificed on the altar of defeat. Middle of the table position for the Cazzi!

The Crunchers. Hmm…first they were Nutters..then they were whipping boys for much of the league campaign. The Crunchers hold a record..most consecutive defeats! Huh! Nothing to be recorded for! But WAIT! I can see that the crunchers squad for this year is far different from last season’s. The average value is down to the fact that the Crunchers have 9 midfielders…9…Odin give me strength to send them to Valhalla!!!! What the hell do you want to do with 9 centre-field players? And four of them are wusses! Get rid of their sorry asses and buy another couple of good defenders. A bright future here. But only if manager ProgMet can REMEMBER TO SET HIS BLOODY TEAM! Wake up Raphael.

Rahal FC. Welcome to the new whipping boys! Rahal got trounced four times in a row by the Rockers last season, and I can see no obvious improvement. Rahal’s squad is barely above the new managers strength, and on average is the worst by far. Last place or next to last for Rahal. No Future…nada…zip..nothing…dead.

Juvecentus have decided to call it a day. Maurizio has had the calling, and will be turning his talents to becoming a priest. At least he will have lots of boys to play with! Live long and prosper!

Hope you enjoyed our round-up….

For the full stats, please send 5Euros to Chris Grillo.

Because you’re worth it!

Red Diamonds sign a new Sponsorship deal with Carlo Gavazzi

Posted in Uncategorized on July 10, 2008 by Chris Grillo

(Photo – Manager jojogauci and Carlo Gavazzi’s CEO Johann Galea on signing of the contract)

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Red Diamonds have announced that they have signed a new record sponsorship deal with Carlo Gavazzi ltd, Thanks to the CEO Johann Galea, who is a close friend to manager Jojogauci. The deal will be worth 5M per year, for a period of three seasons. Manager Jojogauci was delighted with the deal, and thanked Johann Galea and Carlo Gavazzi for their support….”I want to Thank Johann and Carlo Gavazzi for this sponsorship deal, which will for sure strengthen our image and makes us more competitive in the coming seasons”. In reply the CEO Johann Galea said he was honoured to sponsor the Red Diamonds, saying that he has trust in the team and the quality of its players, and will be a great opportunity for Carlo Gavazzi to be recognised worldwide.

Red Diamonds sign Sweeden International Bert-Olof Beijerstam for a club record fee of 10.9M

Posted in Uncategorized on July 9, 2008 by Chris Grillo

The Diamonds have done it again, and splashed the cash for the high rated 31 year old striker from a Norwegian club for a club record fee of around 10.9M. Diamonds Boss jojogauci was delighted with his latest signing and pointed out that this will be the last signing for this season, but admitted that they are already scouting other players…”Yes we are absolutely happy with our current squad, I think for the remainder of the season we are quite balanced, however we have already plans for the coming season but we will make our interest public after the league ends” Asked whether he aspires to dethrone Wonka next season he replied..”Without a shadow of a doubt that it our main objective, failing in doing so will be a great disappointment after what we have spent, but we are very optimistic that we will succeed”.

Red Diamonds throned as richest club

Posted in Uncategorized on July 8, 2008 by Chris Grillo

 

Red Diamonds have leapfrogged Real Wonka to become the league’s richest football club in terms of income, according to a report.

 

 

After three seasons at the top of the Xperteleven Football Money League, Wonka were pushed into second place based on revenues from the 1st and 2nd season.

Red Diamond’s income has doubled in a fortnight, as players such as Lawrence Jameson and Rob Orwell have boosted shirt sales. Adding to this, the record transfer sale of George Best increased their revenue for an estimated 15M

 

 

 

El Grillo in bad shape.Will not lead ‘Heads!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 3, 2008 by Chris Grillo

In a press conference held this morning at Mater Dejn Hospital, it has been announced that Metaheads guru El Grillo will not be leading his squad in this most important run-up to the league and cup semi-final return.

“Mr.Grillo is suffering badly from severe pain in his back, brought about most probably by stress and fatigue. He will return to the Rock Arena on Monday 7th of July, after spending two days in preventive rest in hospital. Unfortunately for Mr.Grillo this means he will not be able to indulge in his favourite pastime and nocturnal occupation. Whether this decision will mean damage to his eyesight remains to be seen, although that is probably why he wears specs in the first place. The squad has been left in the hands of Mr.Bean.”

Mr.Bean has been overheard saying ‘If that flump-wuff JoJo or even Blabington or Smoky Escobar can manage a team, I can certainly win matches. I will have the team in my hands for two games… wooohoooo…if I can only convince Teddy (Bean not Hairyngham)to play as forward…hmm.”

(Image archive : The Multiplication – Mr.Bean making his way up to the bored-room in the underground car-park of The Rock Arena.)

We wish El Grillo all the best wishes.

El Grillo already corrupting Diamond’s Assistant Paul Camilleri!

Posted in Uncategorized on June 24, 2008 by Chris Grillo

Diamonds Assistant Coach Paul Camilleri with Metalheads Manager El Grillo!

Following the accusations made by el Grillo that Paul Camilleri was actually a player, they were seen together in metalheads headquarters! Red Diamonds have alread issued a warning to El Grillo to leave their staff or will report to the FA for corruption of officers, and manipulation of false data. Diamond’s Assistant Paul has yet to comment on these photos.

O U T R A G E O U S !

Posted in Uncategorized on June 24, 2008 by Chris Grillo

‘If this ain’t war, I don’t know what is…this is simply unacceptable.’ Grillo made his point clear as he sped away with new flame Joanna, of Page4 fame. ‘If Jojo ain’t any good, he should simply step down. Looking at his results I can understand the Reds concerns…but then everybody knows Jojo is simply crap. Easy to see really. Just kick his arse off the squad.’

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.