The new season is nigh!

Well what do you know? Another season is upon us, and it all seems to get more exciting, as more new teams join in the fray, willing to get blasted away by the old-timers (the rest of us!)

SO! A BIG welcome to 3 new squads…

Dream Team… Darren Abela’s team. Obviously in much hated Black and Blue colours, Darren will be black and blue if he doesn’t invest in the transfer market. Look at the other teams and learn my friend. Unfortunately, we might have to change this team’s name to Nightmare Team next season. Darren may be a forward looking guy, but this squad is all REVERSE! Prediction: Last with bells and whistles.

Duttrina FC… Why does religion always have to butt in? This is Luke’s squad. Luke Luke…Who the fuck is Luke? Oh, right! Il-Pinzell!!! Obviously a light blue in colour, Luke’s team of no-brainers is set to struggle mightily in his first season, but he is an experienced X11’er…Relegation looms large in this team’s eyes. Next to last, although he might surprise some.

Lion Hearts… While Nicholas is a feisty little guy, all heart, one might say, his squad is just a bunch of pussies, waiting to grow up into Lions. Take heart Nicholas, but be extremely careful. Everyone is out to haul over your ass. Again, Last or next to last place. Where’s the Vaseline tub? Meeeow!

On to the big guns now.

Paola Wolves. The Diamonds are dead…long live the Diamonds! Well the Reds may be dead, but I hope they managed to kill their manager before changing their name. Without any shadow of a doubt the best squad overall. Jojo managed to bungle practically every match this year. Like Metalheads’ first years he never got a rhythm going, and deservedly got relegated. I fully expect him to win the Second Division next year. If there is a second division. Actually I would also expect Wolves to win the first division…but just as long as Jojo is sacked. Down you go mate!!!

Real Wonka. The team we all love to hate. Winners or Runners-up. ‘Nuff said!

BSM. Another great team with a piss-poor manager. BSM only held on to the first division because of  a rigged match. Down to hell, boy! Third or fourth place. Pity the manager is so poor. He would have given us more entertainment in the league.

Metalheads Unite. AAAAH! Now here’s a team close to my heart. The Rockers have improved mightily after their manager found the best formation for the guys in Black. Still to lose a match in two seasons of cup-ties, Metalheads were only pipped to the post in the league by Reloaded on the last day after 11 consecutive wins, as well as losing out in the Cup Final on away goals.Predict a final position a very creditable 4th or 5th but only if the rhythm is regained.. Massive underachievers! The boys are back in town! Let’s ROCK this joint!

Your Pants On Fire… Without a shadow of a doubt the most improved club in the league, and runners-up last season. Alexander began timidly in his first season, but has managed to build a team of class players from the keeper straight up to the forwards. A steady balanced team ALL round…WOW! A top three finish is guaranteed for the Pants. Stupid name for a squad though!

Babers Bombers. The team that started us all on the road to glory…or perdition. This guy had things going forward in his first two seasons, but culminating in the ignomy of last place & relegation from the first division this year. Ewee however came up stating his commitment to the cup, which he admittedly won twice, without managing to win against the Rockers in the final. Fine game though. Pity about the league. The Bombers seem to have lost much of their fire-power though. Final positions? Winners or runners-up..OF THE SECOND DIVISION! Down the chute you go matey.

United Reloaded. What a strange kettle of fish this team turned out to be! A new squad winning the second division title against all odds! Their first match ended in a 4-0 defeat, but things improved rapidly, both with the quality of his squad, as well as shrewd signings. The crux of the matches for UR was the very first match against Metalheads, a lucky 1-0 win which saw them keep their lead at the top of the table right to the very last day, and worthy winners. Now an established squad and full of potential.

Young Dreamers. Old-age pensioners more like it. Zahra’s dream is nearly over. His decision to buy tried and tested players is finally about to kick him in the teeth. As the players get older, their speed slows down, and some of their skill is lost on the field of battle. An ingenious tactician, Mario’s good results belie his squad’s real (poor) potential. Give this guy a proper squad, and he’ll kick us in the balls. As it is, he needs to change quite a bit. Won’t be that difficult to beat this year. Hard times are a-coming for the Dreamers. Will be struggling to avoid the drop! Still, not so easy to beat.

Matercazzi. Hmm…how do you classify this team? Strong ambitions, good all-round squad, but just like the real pathetic Black and Blues..there is no real spirit in the squad. Everyone thought that he would put up a bit of a fight in the league, but he went meekly, head held up high as he was sacrificed on the altar of defeat. Middle of the table position for the Cazzi!

The Crunchers. Hmm…first they were Nutters..then they were whipping boys for much of the league campaign. The Crunchers hold a record..most consecutive defeats! Huh! Nothing to be recorded for! But WAIT! I can see that the crunchers squad for this year is far different from last season’s. The average value is down to the fact that the Crunchers have 9 midfielders…9…Odin give me strength to send them to Valhalla!!!! What the hell do you want to do with 9 centre-field players? And four of them are wusses! Get rid of their sorry asses and buy another couple of good defenders. A bright future here. But only if manager ProgMet can REMEMBER TO SET HIS BLOODY TEAM! Wake up Raphael.

Rahal FC. Welcome to the new whipping boys! Rahal got trounced four times in a row by the Rockers last season, and I can see no obvious improvement. Rahal’s squad is barely above the new managers strength, and on average is the worst by far. Last place or next to last for Rahal. No Future…nada…zip..nothing…dead.

Juvecentus have decided to call it a day. Maurizio has had the calling, and will be turning his talents to becoming a priest. At least he will have lots of boys to play with! Live long and prosper!

Hope you enjoyed our round-up….

For the full stats, please send 5Euros to Chris Grillo.

Because you’re worth it!

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